Strange Days

Okay, first off, spring is here! What a glorious day to start spring...Now let's backtrack over the last couple of weeks (wavy lines, wavy lines ...)

So our homestudy immigration papers, as I mentioned in the last post, went off and we were thrilled. One week later on Friday afternoon after driving home from work, I found a big package in our mailbox. It was from the USCIS! "It must be our paperwork to get our fingerprints done! Yay! We're almost done with all this stuff!" Nope. Agency sent our packet o' info to the wrong USCIS address and the USCIS returned the whole shebang to us. So I immediately hopped into the car and drove the packet to the agency to be resent (to the right address.)

So minor bump, but okay.

But three days before that, we got a call from our new contact at Wide Horizons. We chatted with her for a while, and I mentioned to her (as our social worker had suggested we do) that I had mucho experience with twins, and if a pair of twins became available, we'd love to be considered. She said that young twins didn't happen that often, but that we could end up with many possible combinations, such as a pair of four-year old twins or a three year old and a four year old.

Huh?

I pointed out that we'd talked with our social worker that we wanted two siblings, with one under 12 months. Ryan said that that was his understanding too. She said that their records said "two siblings up to 48 months" rather than "two siblings, one under 12 months, one up to 48 months." She said she'd check with other folks at the agency and get back to us. It was a rock-in-the-stomach couple of days until she called us back. When we talked next, she said that there was clearly a miscommunication and that they normally didn't grant the choice we'd asked for. But she said they'd be willing to give us "One child under 12 months, " or "two siblings, one under 12 months, one up to 48 months," whichever came first. Ry and I discussed it and said we could do that.

So now we could end up with one child or two. So we've been getting used to that idea.

Then last week happened.

The Ethiopian government decided that adoptive families would need to make two trips instead of one and all agencies in Ethiopia had to comply with the new regulations. This means after we get a referral, we wait for our court date, fly (at about one week's notice) to Ethiopia when the court date is decided, meet our children and attend the court proceedings, then fly home (without children), and then return to Ethiopia to pick up the children anywhere from 2 - 8 weeks after once all the paperwork is ready. Oy. From what folks have been able to understand, this is due to the fact that some families (in other programs) abandon the children they've adopted in Ethiopia. (I think this happens in some of the less reputable agencies that are not truthful about the child's health, history, etc.) The Ethiopian government, thus, needs to protect everyone involved so that the adoptive parents can attest in court that this child is indeed the one they are adopting so that cases of abandonment are less likely.

It's a bit of an adjustment to make. One of the main reasons we chose Ethiopia was that there was one visit; we'd both heard how heartbreaking it would be to meet your child and then leave him/her for an extended period of time. Additionally, last minute tickets to Ethiopia ain't cheap.

Despite this new twist, we're doing okay, and figure this is all part of the big plan that is leading us to our children. Tons of change in only a couple of weeks, but I'd say we're doing a good job gliding through it. I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it when we have our child/ren in our arms, but sometimes it just feels like we'll always be waiting. Even though you can intellectually know that you'll be parents in about two years, it's hard for one's heart to always believe it.

And so we wait.

As it helps not to watch the pot boil, we've both been keeping very busy. Ry's been doing great with his blossoming music career, and I've been busy with my art class and my newest interest, trapezing! To celebrate my 39th birthday, I went learned how to ride a trapeze over at Jordan's Furniture in Reading. IT. WAS. A. BLAST!! The first jump was terrifying. Actually, it was the getting-ready-to-jump that was terrifying. The jump itself was surprisingly gentle! I'm proud to say that I did the knee hang, the flip off the bar, and even a catch onto someone on another trapeze! And, yes, I'm going back. Too fun to pass up.

Today was a gorgeous first day of spring, and I got the garden ready with lovely composted cow poop. The garden, though bare, looks happy and ready to go. Will plant peas and spinach very soon....maybe tomorrow? We'll see...

Over and out.

xoxo
Trina

HOME STUDY DONE!!

Can you believe it????

Just got the letter -- our homestudy is done and the I-600A application was submitted to US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) on February 25, 2010. Wow. For anyone who's never adopted, this is a really big deal. :)

And to make things even more splendid, we're basically done with the dossier. Just waiting on a couple of forms and then we're taking all the dossier paperwork to Ryan's work to get notarized. Then we send everything to the agency, and wait for the call from USCIS to get fingerprinted. Once the dossier is deemed "cool" by the Ethiopian government, we're officially on the waitlist for two siblings. Wow wow wow.

What still blows me away about this whole process is that our older child may already be alive now. He or she may even be up to 2 or 3 years old at this point. That creates a confusing mix of being excited knowing they already exist and fear of what they might be going through right now, which would be our concern with any adoption, international or domestic. I wish there were some way I could protect him or her with a magic safety bubble of love.

On a lighter note, we went out to Addis Red Sea the day before my birthday last week. It's a fantastic Ethiopian restaurant in the South End of Boston. http://www.addisredsea.com/ The smell of the spices wafting throughout the restaurant was, for lack of a more original word, intoxicating. It was a marvelous aroma that I enjoyed for the whole two hours we were there. It wasn't a scent that you "got used to" and then didn't notice. It lingered in a wonderful way that made me breathe deeper just to absorb more of it. Which, of course, got me thinking more about Ethiopian cooking. I'll be trying my hand at a couple of recipes tomorrow night... Luckily, we already are well stocked with Indian spices and have all the spices we need. (Indian grocery stores, by the way, are THE place to get spices. VERY inexpensive and you get a big bag. If you don't want a lot, you can always share with others and everyone saves money.)

So that's the news from here. Our latest "Adoptive Families" magazine (thanks Caitlin!) just arrived this morning too, so I'm going to go enjoy that now...

Woo-hoo!
~Katrina

Homestudy Paperwork Done!!

YEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! I dropped of the last of the homestudy paperwork today off at the Waltham office!! This is such a big hurdle we've crossed. There are more to come, of course, but a hurdle's a hurdle! Any excuse to break out the champagne!

Our 1-600 paperwork should be leaving Wide Horizons soon and then we wait (10 days? 3 months?) for the call from the government to get our fingerprints taken.

So now we're attacking the dossier. As I mentioned earlier, it's really not that bad. Having had to deal with over 400 Argentinian student visas per year during my study abroad days, I can say that this is really nothing. Those things were insane, written by someone who desperately hated people. This stuff is a piece of cake. We'll hopefully have all the paperwork collected by late next week.

It's been an odd process trying to get people to hustle for you. Some people melt when they find out we're adopting, and do everything they can to help. They are good. You can hear the goodwill and kindness in their voices. Then there are the people who look at you with a blank "so?" look on their face when you say that this thing you need help with is for the two children you will be adopting from Ethiopia. These people are bad. :) Well, there's good in there somewhere, but the challenge is coaxing it out. One kind facebooker suggested baking cookies for the meanies, which I may resort to. I don't know a soul who could resist Gramma's Cowboy Cookies. I think even Satan would melt. (Why does the name Satan always make me giggle?)

So that's where we are as of today. I think I may try my hand at an Ethiopian dish today...more soon!

~Katrina

February 10, 2010

I'm hoping for a snow day tomorrow so I can catch up on some work around the house. Things are very busy - in both adoptionland and otherwise. We got together for dinner last weekend with a couple of friends who are adopting, we had an awesome dinner at a local Ethiopian restaurant. (Thanks to both of them for the recipes, which I can't wait to try.) I'm not sure I have the kitchen equipment to make the bread - I'll have to check the recipes . . .

Concerning adoption: it feels perhaps not like a sea of adoption papers, but perhaps a nice, healthy stream, that flows through our house and finds its way into little piles (or perhaps "pools" is more accurate since I'm going with the water analogy). I don't feel like I'm going to be at a loss for paperwork this month. I am eternally grateful to my workplace for the numerous notary publics who have offices throughout our campus. I probably owe them a lunch or two. Maybe a nice fruitbasket or jelly-of-the-month club, the latter of which is the gift that keeps on giving - the whole year. I'm also indebted to my workplace for after-hours use of its fax machine and scanner. Otherwise I'd rent out workspace at the local Kinkos, or I would be hiring a private Milton for the home, red stapler, flair and all.

I need me-birthday ideas!

So this is the year of my 39th birthday. (I think...I always have to check with Ry, as he can remember my age better than I. I could never understand how my Dad could forget his age, and after I hit 30, I turned into him. Without the plaid shirts.)

I love getting together with folks, but I really want to do something different this year for my big day, but don't know what that is. 40 is approaching and peering around the corner, and my plan is to show it I'm boss. I'm wracking my brains for ideas on what to do. Any thoughts or suggestions? Ry said, "What would you like to do?" and I just sat there empty-headed and finally said, "I don't know. But it's gotta be something great!" Note that it will be on the last day of my school break, and I can't stay out late due to school the next day. Also, as most of you probably know, I'm not a huge drinker.

As Winnie the Pooh said once while deep in thought, "Think...think..think, think, think...."

Speaking of Winnie the Pooh, here's a great New Yorker cartoon...

Hey look everyone, Ryan posted!

Greetings to all in Blogland! Sorry it's been a while since I've made a post - poor Ryan (now I'm talking about myself in the 3rd person - taking a cue from Muhammed Ali) had some login troubles but now I should be able to blog constantly.

Just a quick update - we're closing in on the end of our homestudy. Last weekend we went to the day-long adoption workshop that's required as part of our process. Lots of good information, but most importantly we met some really great people, some of whom we might become good friends with. There was a nice sense of empathy throughout the room, almost a sense of relief that there are other people out there doing the same things we're doing.

Trina has been an absolute godsend the past few weeks - I'm trying to hustle some more jazz guitar gigs and she's been essentially keeping our household running, gracefully putting up with late-night practice sessions and plenty of evenings playing "gig widow" while I'm out playing/schlepping P.A. gear. Her high school friend Matt came into town last weekend, and he's also a musician. The two of us barely knew each other but we stayed up jamming until about 2 a.m. Trina's work at her art classes are really starting to pay off too - she did a drawing of me and him playing and she totally nailed our poses. She's way overdue for a nice meal cooked by someone other than herself, and maybe a nice bath or two drawn to boot.

We'll be submitting our I-600 form soon. I got my passport photos and I'm bummed you can't smile in them anymore. The last time I got mine taken I was super-skinny and had on a turtleneck and suede jacket - throw some shades on me and I would've looked like an eastern European character from a James Bond movie. In the new pictures I just look bored.

Speaking of Europe, this blog entry is going to end like a stereotypical European movie, in which there's no arc or highpoint to the story followed by an earth-shattering conclusion. It just stops!

Long long long winding road

This will probably be my shortest post ever. But two plus years feels like a really long time. dang. Feeling discouraged as we've already had two and a half years of wait and heartache. Most of the time I feel positive. But today's hard. I'm hearing announcement after announcement of new pregnancies and I'm feeling very sad. Wondering and sad.