Homestudy at Home

Well today we had our last official homestudy meeting! Our social worker, Deb, came over around 10:30 a.m. and took a look at our place, making sure we had adequate space for kids, smoke alarms, and carbon monoxide detectors. (We did. Phew!) We sat at the kitchen table and began discussing the process from here on. She estimated that we could potentially go on the waiting list starting around March. :) Fingers crossed!

It was actually quite idyllic. It started to snow shortly after she got here, and we all sat at the kitchen table, drinking strong coffee and watching the antics of the birds outside at the feeders in the snowfall while we talked. (The starlings made a couple of Westside-Story-Jets-appearances that stopped all conversation momentarily. It was like a scene out of The Birds.) She's already begun some of the preliminary work on our homestudy report, and will continue with that now that our final in-person interview is finished. (We have a quick phone interview at the end of the month to make sure all our ducks are in a row.)

One of the more serious things she mentioned were that the children in Ethiopia are very malnourished and can be severely underweight when they are adopted. While we knew this, it was still sobering to hear, and made me a little sick to think of my future children possibly starving as we speak. We also learned that adopting 2 siblings, which we plan to do, means that the older one can be up to 4 years old (thus my comment about our oldest child being alive already), assuming that we don't get twins. She stressed that we should talk to other families that have adopted more than one child at a time and make sure this is the right decision for us, given the extra challenges. While we will definitely follow her advice, we know we want two and thus still feel good about our decision. We've already communicated a few other families who said adopting siblings was one of the best choices they made.

All in all, it went very well, and we felt great after she left, knowing that our two-year gestation period may begin relatively soon ... We now have four online courses to take, one day-long course on Jan 23, and our 1-600 form to send in, and then we'll have done everything for our homestudy and can start the dossier.

Onward and upward! Wishing you all a peaceful and fun-filled New Year!

Love,
Katrina

Last Homestudy Meeting and a New Year!

Greetings! Tomorrow is a big day ~ our last homestudy meeting. This one, however, is not at the WHFC office in Waltham, but in our home. Today is a whirlwind of cleaning and making sure all our smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors are working. Our two designated kid rooms are presently 1) a guest room and 2) a storage room. So definitely not nursery stage yet, though that would be a silly thing to start now, as we have a long way to go until that point. That said, however, my mind is beginning to consider possibilities/colors/designs.

We just got back from our whirlwind tour of Virginia/Pennsylvania (okay, PA was only a few hours...sorry PA family--we'll stay longer next time--we had to get back in time to clean this year for our meeting...It stunk not having more time to visit you all and relax.) On our way back, we listened to a podcast about organizing and designing rooms based on zones; essentially, how to make your living space fit you and work in an organized way. I got quite inspired, and am thinking more about each space, particularly my office space, which I barely use now. I'd love to use it to get back into my art.

This past summer, with Ryan's persistent loving urging (and ultimately his signing me up behind my back) I took a wonderful watercolor course at the small art museum here in Framingham. Ryan rocks. I LOVED the course. It was 5 full days in a row, during one of the hottest weeks of the summer, and I happily painted for about 8 hours each day. Once the course was over, though, I stopped. I'm having trouble getting back into the zone, and I think if I get my office space more inviting, I'll feel that urge to return to that great place. I'm quite inspired to work on this. I abandoned my visual artist side almost as soon as I left high school, and painting and drawing again felt like reuniting with an old, dear friend. I'd love to make that a regular part of my life again.

Hope the New Year brings forth inspiration to each of you to enjoy what makes you most happy! We are incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and delightfully wacky (in the best sense) constellation of friends and family cheering us on. We look forward to the day that we introduce you to our children!

Lots of love,
Katrina

Confession about Antlers

So....I did something this past week that surprised me. I bought Christmas items with our two future children in mind. It was a small but huge move, as I'm admittedly nervous that I'll jinx things with too much optimism. But I simply couldn't help myself.

At Russells Garden Center, I was hunting for some stockings for Ry and I, as suddenly realized we had no stockings. (It's our first Christmas we're spending at home and not traveling, so it was an easy oversight in past years.) I was perusing the fun little gizmos they had there, when I saw something so silly and precious, my heart skipped a beat: two pairs of headband antlers with little bells on them. (the last two on the shelves, by chance!) I immediately pictured our two kids (who are they??) wearing them and skipping about the tree in night-before-Christmas-hyper-activity. And I knew that these antlers must be ours. They now sit by our Seuss-like tree, hinting at the future. We wear them, of course, (hello! How can you not put on a pair of jingly antlers? impossible!) but it feels more like we're borrowing them and breaking them in for the two little heads that are somewhere in some way on their way to us.

jingle jingle ...

Long time, no write

Long absence from the Flemin's! Sorry for the silence! We've been in the midst of our homestudy, painting our front room a VERY cool tomato red that we love, student-parent conferences at school, tutoring, Christmas revelry, blah-blah, you name it. Oh--and working. People still expect us to go to work, if you can believe it. It's been a very busy last month.

Homestudy is going very well...We did our initial homestudy meeting with our social worker together last month in Waltham. Then each of us met with her separately early in both late Nov/early Dec. The hardest part of those meetings was helping somebody to understand our very complex family trees. (Ryan's took a little longer...who'd a thought I'd find someone with an equally interesting and beautifully misshapen tree?) We have our next meeting on Dec 31 in the afternoon.

We also are beginning our "schoolwork" for our homestudy. We're signed up for a class at Wide Horizons for next month, and we have to take a bunch of online courses on both adoptive parenting and international adoption.

Our paperwork is coming nicely. We're getting some papers notarized tomorrow afternoon. Once all our paperwork is in, the social worker can begin constructing a report. Should be a very bizarre read! (How many times in one's life does somebody write your biography for you?)

We've decided to ask for twins/two siblings (we'll see which set fate passes our way)! Very exciting times!

Sorry this blog is a bit dull, but my mind is multitasking to its limit and all creativity seems to have fallen by the wayside! :)

Happy December!

~Katrina

Obama declares November National Adoption Month

Yes folks, it's official. I assume there's an official month for just about everything, and now adoption joins the ranks! It occurred to me that I've got a few other ideas for national months. Check out these chestnuts:

- National Funk Month. Celebrating all things James Brown, Parliament, Earth Wind & Fire, The Meters, Isley Brothers, Rick James, Sly Stone and ____________( fill in the blank). Featuring free concerts all over the country.
- National Fried Food Month. Everything tastes better fried, right? Either that or maybe just National Fried Pork Rinds Month.
- National Cool Car Month. Show off your ride. Free pine-scented air fresheners for all motorists driving cool cars.
- National Shag Carpeting Month. It would be great if this month could come with some deep discounts, because otherwise I don't know when we'll be able to afford to do our entire home in wall-to-wall, deep-pile glory.
- National Pet Humiliation Awareness Month. We've all known a pet - either ours or someone else's - who's been dressed in stupid outfits, made to pose against their will for holiday cards, or been falsely blamed for a bad deed. This month is for them.
- National Wedding Musicians' Month. Who else can churn out hits of the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 2000s?
- National Stick Figures' Month. Because that's all I can draw!

Incredible Luck

The last week has been quite a whirlwind! Last Thursday, the day after getting our package of Wide Horizons stack-o-papers, Ryan, traveling north on 495 at 60 mph was hit by a hit-and-runner. He's okay, amazingly enough...nothing our talented chiropractor can't massage away. But the ninny who hit him from behind and set the car spinning twice and into the guardrail took off. Ry somehow got the car under control and pulled to the side of the highway, whilst the idiot driver (I have more choice words) left him there. That just blows my mind.

Aside from both being very very thankful that Ryan was alive and unbroken, we were both super bummed that our beloved 95 Corolla was in such sad shape. As it was an older car and technically not worth a lot to anyone but us, we didn't bother with collision insurance. Thus we've been holding our breath to see what the verdict was on possibly fixing it.

My Dad recommended that we have his local mechanic look at it, so we had it towed down there to Marshfield. Later that day, the mechanic said he hadn't had a chance to really get a good look, but described it as "a train wreck." Not promising. Aside from the money issue, I/we LOVE that car. It's been so dependable and we'd fully counted on its continued service for another ten years at least. Plus, like my Gramma, I get very attached to cars and even named this one "Cori," as she had named her earlier Corolla. :)

But GOOD NEWS!!! Our mechanic, Dave, said this evening that he can make it safely drivable for $300!!! He said "It won't be pretty...You won't want to take it to prom, but it will be safe. You were just lucky." But all that matters is our Cori is safe and usable. We welcome you back with open arms, Old Girl! Nothing can get you down!! Your battle scars make you even more cherished.

On the paperwork front, we are actually making great progress! I've been really touched at how people will go out of their way to get things moving quicker. My doctor's office, when they heard I'd need to get a medical report for an adoption, pulled some strings so I could get in this Monday! (Usually, I have to wait months.) In fact, we've got our first meeting with our social worker in one week. This first small step in the process is taking much less time than I'd anticipated.

Could it be our luck is changing?? Ryan's okay! Cori's okay! Paperwork is magically getting done! Cross your fingers for us...

Paper!

Phase Two of paperwork begins! We got our packet in the mail and should be hearing from our social worker any day now. Letters of recommendation need to be written stating we aren't ding-dongs. Lots of birth and marriage certificates to be ordered. Doctors appointments to be made. Criminal background checks. Then we have to file an I-600 report which looks time-consuming but fairly straightforward. Holy cow! This is starting to feel real! We're told that this paperwork is nothing compared to the dossier that awaits us, but it's good practice and keeps us busy.

Tonight is a very blustery and delightfully warm Halloween night, and we had many cutie-pies come to our door. I'm a big believer in saying "Trick or Treat!" to get the candy, so when I asked one little girl who was eying the candy bowl, "What do you say on Halloween night?" she looked up quizzically and said, "Please?" Too cute.

Ryan and I both wondered aloud in what Halloween year we'll be taking our own kids... 2011? 2012? As exciting as this all is, it seems so astoundingly far away sometimes. But, on the other hand, it will be a good incentive to finally paint the rooms inside the house. We've been lagging a bit on that front and concentrating more on the yard since moving in last year. It's time to get these tan walls spiced up.

Ethiopian cuisine (semi-prequel)

Should've posted this a couple months ago, but there will be many periods of just sitting and waiting for the next couple years during which coming up with a topic to make for a truly compelling blog entry will be difficult. These periods of relative boredom will sometimes be interrupted by moderately long-term flurries of paperwork. The amount of this stuff is supposed to be truly staggering. I predict that once we're in the thick of it, in comparison we'll liken our mortgage process to feel like one of those 4-page 6th-grade typed essays I used to do in 14-pt. double-space font. Narrow margins. Boy, let me just add - where would I be today without Cliffnotes as part of my educational history? Without that and my staggering yet fluffy vocabulary, filling up those lonely 4 pages would've been a task.

Anyhow, I'm going to try to check out some Ethiopian cooking over the next couple months, which in addition to helping me get to know their cuisine, will also hopefully get me out of a little cooking rut in which I've been lately. It will also help me eat more, which is something I don't do enough of. Anyhow a few month ago, Trina and I went to a pretty good Ethiopian restaurant in Central Square called Asmara (http://www.asmararestaurantboston.com). Trina wasn't crazy about the honey wine, but I happily finished her glass. (I know I'm setting myself up here, but I'm always interested in becoming a better booze connoseur. But in a more refined and inquisitive way, perhaps, than when I was in college.) I think the most popular Ethiopian restaurant in Boston is Addis Red Sea in the South End (http://www.addisredsea.com). If anyone has any restaurant recommendations or recipes they want to toss my way, the door's open!

Application? Check!

We did it! Today we completed Step 2 of our adoption process and our application has been sent off!

Right now, the whole thing still feels a bit surreal. I'm trying to think of momentous words to use to mark the occasion and am falling way short. Perhaps it's because it doesn't feel real yet. I sense it won't really feel real until we have a child safely in our arms.

When I hiked my way up out the Grand Canyon a few years back, I recall looking up and thinking, "Damn, that's a long way up." I measured the day by turns in the path, one foot plodding in front of the other, pushing the panicked "Will I get up there in time?" thoughts to the side, as I shoved way too many Power Bars into my mouth. (I was on the Green Tortoise bus headed east and it was leaving that night, thus the panic.) Much later that day, a couple of hours from the top, I was so wiped, that making it to the top in time seemed less and less likely. Luckily, a fellow from India who'd only hiked a couple of hours from the top and was on his way back up stopped and asked if I needed help. "Oh, no, I'm fine," I valiantly lied. (Why do we say such things??) He looked at me with an amused smile in his eyes and said, "No, actually, you're not fine. Give me your pack." I made some lame arguments and he kindly but firmly insisted that he help me. He took over my pack (how amazing it felt to have that weight off!) and told me stories of his childhood in India as we scaled the last two or so hours of the trail together. At the top, I looked at him with embarrassed gratitude. He handed me my pack and kindly winked and said, "Have a great life!" Then he turned away, and walked off in a very Highway to Heaven mysterious way.

The point to this rambling story was that my faith in humanity was permanently altered that day. Just when I thought I couldn't make it, someone literally helped carry a great weight. (I know...this metaphor is really working, isn't it??) We've had so many people there for us already in some pretty dark times, and I know that we won't be on this new trail alone, so thanks joining us on our blog!

Okay, metaphor over. Metaphors are cool, but they can sometimes get syrupy and annoying, and I think I've hit the cusp.

Update

Hi everyone! The last few months have had a few stops and starts, but we're sending in our official application to WHFC this week. We're both really excited along with our families. A few fans at my gigs (here's my latest project - www.thetwotimers.com - shameless plug) ask me regularly about how our adoption is going, which is really cool.

I can't wait to get our application in - I think it'll give us a lot of momentum. Very excited!

The First Step

Well, we've begun the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia! The registration has been sent and the application is just about ready to go. We've started this blog so that you can all experience the ride with us and, ultimately, celebrate with us as we go to meet our future children!

After sending in our application, we first need to do our homestudy, which will probably take several months. Then we collect the rather substantial paperwork for the dossier, which is then sent to the Ethiopian government. After our paperwork is approved, we begin the wait, which we're told will be anywhere from 12 to 24 months. (Judging by what we've seen and heard, it will probably lean closer to 24 months.)

Once we get our referral (a match to a child) we will then be waiting about 3-5 more months for the paperwork to go through the Ethiopian courts. Then off we scamper on a plane for Ethiopia to get our baby or babies, should we be lucky enough to get twins!

We're quite excited about our agency, Wide Horizons for Children, based in Waltham, Massachusetts! The information session we went to in late spring was excellent and they have a very good reputation. Check them out at http://www.whfc.org/

Glad to have you all experience the journey with us!

Love,
Trina and Ryan